It’s been almost a year now, and I will be reaching 2000 subcribers on my Youutube channel very soon… Thanks so much!
The initial purpose of my channel was not ASMR. It was to help people and express my creativity. I think I have acheived that to some extent. To me ASMR is a mean, not an end in itself.
When I think about everything that happened, I feel proud of what I have accomplished. On the other hand, I am somewhat disapointed. I started as highly idealistic. Now I’m down to Earth.
During this year I have realized that ASMRtists, ASMRphiles and Youtubers in general are humans. Some are sometimes flawed but many have great qualities. I have grown in the fact that I have learned to tolerate critics and dislikers and to appreciate praises.
I have seen a lot of new ASMR artists coming on the scene and also many leaving. Sometimes however I think that having an abundance of ASMRtists can be too much of the same thing. However, it has been apparent to me that being creative is not a garantee of popularity. Some disliked the fact that I do all sorts of videos and would expect me to do the same thing over and over…. However, this is not who I am and I refuse to be stuck in a niche. If you like my channel, you don’t have to like everything I do, but you must appreciate that I experiment and create. This is who I am.
I have seen ASMR becoming more mainstream, with interviews and film projects being made.
I had this lofty idea that people experiencing ASMR were somehow more connected, open-minded and creative. I realized that this is not the case. Some just don’t care about creativity. Some are just “jerks”…. I had to readjust my perception to reality.
I have seen that there are some artists who really like the attention they get, maybe sometimes too much for their own good.
I have realized that some people have very narrow views on what ASMR is and some who deny it even exists; some also dislike that we call ourselve asmrtists, because it’s not an art to them, just a weird kink.
I have seen the Facebook community of ASMRtists grow as well. I sometimes would like to get more involved, but I have found that this is more of a social club for ASMRtists, which is very cool, but can also distract me from my creation zone.
Something else… Are special effects necessary for ASMR or relaxing videos? Not really. Simple is usually better. That was my initial point of view. But I had doubts, after seeing the reaction of ASMRphiles to some videos that were full of effects… So I decided to do something bigger and more involved. I thought I could pull it off… My Automaton series is what resulted from my time and efforts. I’m proud of what I have done, althought many might not like it. It’s different and hadn’t been done before. However, it was quite taxing on me and I often felt discouraged by the sheer amount of work required to do this. It might not be ASMR to some… But ASMR is so different for each person, people should not dislike what doesn’t trigger them.
I do think the community should have kept it simple all along. But it’s normal that we try to push the limits. It’s human nature.
Anyway, I’m now back to normal mode and will produce simpler videos for a while – they might not all trigger ASMR for all, but they will always represent a part of me.